


Learn Your Lessons

by every_step_of_the_way



Category: Jonnor-fandom, The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hogwarts AU, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3910678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every_step_of_the_way/pseuds/every_step_of_the_way
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Jude's fifth year at Hogwarts, and there's a lot of things he'd like to know. </p><p>Why was he picked to become a prefect? Why are Callie and Brandon spending so much time together? How is he going to survive OWLS? Why does he suck at Quidditch so badly? Why has Connor been acting so weird lately?</p><p>And, most importantly, why does he have to be in love with his best friend?</p><p>(Hogwarts AU with Gryffindor!Connor and Slytherin!Jude)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Summer's End

“Jude! Jude!”

I heard someone calling my name and my head snapped up. The minute I saw who it was, my face broke into a grin. The same cheeky grin, the same brown hair…

“Connor!” I said, running towards him. My heart fluttered as he got closer and closer. The first thing I noticed was that my best friend had been working out. Like, seriously hitting the gym. Before summer, Connor had a little bit of muscle and mostly boyish features. Now, he was all broad shoulders and biceps and chiselled jaw and…

I swallowed hard. Now was not the time to drool over my best friend.

“I missed you so much!” Connor said, hugging me as soon as he got within arms distance. Butterflies erupted in my stomach.

“I missed you too!” I replied, returning the hug. “Summer was so boring without you.”

“I doubt that, you have like a million people in your family. Wait a second- did you grow?” Connor asked. I noticed that Connor was looking me up and down.

I blushed under his gaze and looked down at my body confusedly. “I don't think so, why?”

“We're almost the same height now.” He said, and I noticed he was right. Before we had left for summer break, Connor was almost a whole head taller than me. Now, we were roughly about the same height.

“Huh. I guess I did grow.”

“I'm still taller though.” Connor said teasingly, putting an arm on my shoulder and standing up straighter to try and look taller. Jerk.

I rolled my eyes. “By like an inch!” I protested, knocking Connor’s hand off my shoulders.

“Still counts!”

“Whatever. You ready?”

Connor grabbed his trunk off of the ground. “Yep!”

Mariana came up to us just as we were about to leave. “Hey Connor.” She said cheerfully, giving him a hug. She took one look at his arms and asked, “Have you been working out this summer?” I shot her a look. She winked back at me.

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve just been training really hard for Quidditch season.” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Ready to get on the train?” She asked, grabbing her trunk.

All of the sudden, I was pulled into a headlock. _Jesus._

“Jesus, do we really have to do this here?” I choked and squirmed as the older twin messed up my hair.

“Hey, as your older brother, it’s my job to torment you.” He said, continuing his torture. Connor and Mariana laughed. _Traitors_. I pushed away from him one more time and he released me, laughing. I huffed, trying to straighten out my clothes. 

My moms walked over. “Hello Connor!” Lena said warmly as they approached us.

“Hi Mrs. Adams-Foster!” He replied, giving each of my moms a brief hug.

“So, Connor, Jude told us that you made prefect! Congratulations!” Stef complimented.

Connor beamed. “Thanks, I’m so excited! Hopefully Jude and I can patrol together. Plus, prefects have a really cool bathroom.”

“Typical boys,” Mariana scoffed, “You give them an academic honor and all they can think about is the bath the size of a swimming pool.” She looked down at her own shiny prefect badge and adjusted it so that it was perfectly straight on her pink cardigan.

“Goody two shoes.” Jesus mumbled under his breath, looking at the badge with distain.

Mariana glared at him and punched him in the arm “Hey!”

Stef guided them away from each other before a real fight broke out. “Alright you guys, you better get on the train.” She said, checking her watch for the time. “It’s almost noon.”

I nodded and picked up my suitcase, giving my moms one last hug before heading over to the train. “Bye mom! By mama!” I yelled over my shoulder as Connor and I started to board.

“Bye sweetie! Be safe!” I faintly heard Lena say as Connor and I got on the train, starting to head to the prefect’s compartment. After we got there and dropped off our trunks, we changed into our robes. I stepped out into the hallway, straitening out my green and silver tie. Connor came out soon afterwards, and we began patrolling the isles of the train.

We easily fell into a conversation about what we had done over the summer.

“There's no way-“ Connor started, looking at me incredulously.

“I'm telling you! They have a whole department full of glass balls with these little fog things inside-“

Connor looked at me skeptically as we walked down the isle of the train to the candy trolley. “There’s no way that you’ve been to the department of mysteries!”

“I have!” I defended, “I hung out at the ministry all summer because Stef was working, and-”

Something hit my shoulder, causing sharp shooting pain. I cut off with a little yelp, stumbling into Connor a bit. He steadied me and looked at me concernedly, causing me to blush.

A cold voice cut through. “Watch where you're going, princess.”

I stiffened. I knew that voice anywhere. _Blake Edwards_. Gryffindor. He’s tormented me ever since first year.

“Blake-“ Connor spat, his hands balling into fists and his jaw locking.

I placed a hand on his fist. “Connor, it's not even worth it.” I said gently, looking at him pleadingly. _Please don’t… it’s not worth it…_

Blake and Connor had a stare down for a couple of seconds before Blake started to walk off. As he was passing me, he glared at me and muttered, “One of these days, he won't be around to protect you.”

After he was out of earshot, Connor turned to me. “Why do you let him get away with it?”

“What good will conflict do?” I said and shrugged. “Besides, I've survived five years with them. I'm sure I can survive three more.”

“Sometimes, I think that you're too nice.” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as we continued down the isle.

I smiled softly at him. “Shut up.” I said, pushing him jokingly.

The rest of the journey was filled with small talk, exploding snap, and loads of candy from the trolley.

 

* * *

 

 

“The feast is over. Prefects, please lead your students to the dormitories. You are dismissed.” The headmaster announced with a wave of his hand.

I caught Connors gaze from across the Great Hall. _Ledge?_ He mouthed. I smiled and nodded back to him.

The ledge was a sit-in windowsill in the astronomy tower. It was kind of like our designated hang out spot, since it was right in the middle of the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms. Plus, it was usually abandoned which gave us the freedom to be our weird, geeky selves. Well, actually, I’m not sure Connor qualifies as geek now with all of that muscle he gained over the summer. Those biceps…

_Ahem_. Anyway…

After leading the Slytherins to the common room and making sure they were all settled in, I went out to meet Connor. By the time I got to the ledge, he was already sitting there waiting for me.

“Are you scared?” I asked him, taking a seat next to him on the ledge, our knees brushing.

“What?” He asked confusedly.

“Are you scared? Of the future I mean.” I clarified.

“Not really.” He said and then shrugged. “You?”

“Yeah.” I said, picking at my fingernails. Nervous habit.

“You have nothing to worry about, Jude. It's going to be an awesome year. I can feel it.” He assured, placing a hand on my back. I felt my heart leap and start pounding wildly. Now was really not the time… “Who knows?” Connor added, “Maybe you'll even get a girlfriend this year.”

I stiffened and bit my lip. “Yeah, sure…”

_If only he knew…_

“We're going to kick your ass in Quidditch this year, though.”

I scoffed, “You wish! You guys are going down!” I pushed him lightly and laughed.

“We are going to take home the trophy again. Just as we did last year. And the year before that. And the year before that-“

“Shut up! We're totally going to win this year.”

Connor smiled and rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Jude.”

We sat together in comfortable silence for a little, our shoulders lightly brushing, enjoying each other’s presence after the whole summer apart. After a few minutes, I checked the time and broke the silence. “We should probably get to bed.”

“Yeah, we have early classes tomorrow.” Connor said, standing up and offering me a hand. I took it and he pulled me up off of the windowsill. “See you in Potions, bright and early.”

I nodded and started walking down the hallway before I head Connor call my name.

“Hey Jude?”

I turned around. “Yeah?”

Connor looked at me for a moment with a serious expression on his face. He opened his mouth as if about to say something, but then a few seconds later decided against it. He dropped his serious expression. “Goodnight”

I looked at him suspiciously, but let it drop. “Goodnight” I answered back, giving him a small wave. He smiled and started to walk the other direction towards the Gryffindor dormitories.

I bit my lip as I watched his retreating figure walk down the hallway. The butterflies that seemed to manifest in my stomach every time Connor was around just reiterated the fact that I already knew.

The fact that I had known since the middle of fourth year.

The fact that could ruin our friendship forever

The fact that…

_I'm in love with my best friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know the first chapter was kind of slow, but I promise in a couple chapters the real plot will come out and y'all will love it! 
> 
> I hope you guys liked it! If there's something you would like to see in this fic, let me know!


	2. Beginnings

I’ve always been a morning person.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve loved getting up early. Before my mom died, we would wake up early together, even on weekends, and watch the sun rise. But then, after the _accident_ happened, waking up early stopped being something enjoyable and started being a necessity.

Most of the foster homes we stayed in required Callie and me to be up early to do chores. Making breakfast, doing dishes, stuff like that. One of the worst ones we stayed in required us to be up at 4:30 every morning to do all of the chores around the house and then serve the foster parents breakfast. It was like we were their servants.

But then, when I went to Hogwarts, and waking up early became something enjoyable again. I had so much to look forward to- spells, classes, _Connor…_

Speaking of Connor, it’s our first day of classes. Where is he? He already missed breakfast…

I walked down the hall that leads to the Gryffindor dorms, and saw him stumbling out of the red and gold common room.

I walked up next to him and nudged his shoulder. “Ready for our first day of classes?” I asked slyly, taking in his ruffled appearance.

He grumbled and ran a hand through his hair, trying to smooth it into place.

“Someone's awfully chipper this morning” I chuckled, watching Connor frantically trying to not look like he just got out of bed.

“We can't all be actually conscious in the morning, Jude.” He jibed, straightening his tie.

“Aren’t you holding Quidditch tryouts today?” 

Connor perked up immediately. “Yeah, I want to get that in really early so we have maximum time for training.” Connor was one of the youngest Gryffindor Quidditch captains of the decade, snagging the captains spot at just 15 years old. He was a natural keeper, a great leader, and a fantastic Quidditch captain.

“That's pretty smart. Slytherin tryouts aren't for another couple of days. Actually, I was thinking about trying out.” I said.

He raised an eyebrow. “You? Try out for Quidditch? Have you forgot the quaffle that you sent sailing through your mom’s window two summers ago?” 

“I’ve improved since then!” I defended, crossing my arms.

He raised an eyebrow, looking at me skeptically. I blushed. “Okay, maybe I won’t try out…” He laughed and I scowled.

Marianna and Jesus spotted us, waved, and walked up to us. “Hey Jonnor!“ Mariana greeted.

“Jonnor?” Connor questioned.

“Jude and Connor! Duh! I mean, you two are already attached at the hip... we should just combine your names already and make it official.” She said, flipping her hair. Mariana might look like just another pretty face, but don’t let her looks fool you. Underneath those brown locks was one of the smartest Ravenclaws to grace the halls of Hogwarts.

“Whatever you say Mariana...” I said, trying not to meet her gaze. She was the first person to figure out that I had a crush on Connor. I mean, _she_ knew I had a crush on Connor before _I_ knew I had a crush on Connor.

“I'm totally going to kick your ass in Quidditch this year.” Jesus bragged at Connor, proudly sporting his Slytherin Quidditch Captain badge.

Connor rolled his eyes, “In your dreams, Jesus!”

I looked at the large clock on the wall, and noticed it was time to get to class. “Is it really 8:00 already? Crap! We have to go! Bye Mariana! Bye Jesus!” I took Connor by the wrist and started sprinting down the moving staircases toward the potions dungeons.

 

* * *

 

“Phew, we made it...” I huffed as we ran through the door. 

Connor didn’t even seem to be out of breath. _Curse his athletic genes…_ He straightened his tie and said, “I seriously thought we were going to get pitched off that moving staircase-“

“I know!” I said, and we both started laughing as we took our seats.

Our potions professor started his lesson just as we sat down. “Class, settle down. As you know, this year we will be making Amortentia, which is also known as… what? Taylor?”

“The most effective love potion in the world.” She answered. I kind of recognized her from the Slytherin common room and from some of my classes... I'm pretty sure we're in the same year.  

“Excellent.” The professor said, “One of the effects of the Amortentia is actually the smell... It smells different to every individual, based on what the individual likes or who the individual loves...” He scanned the class, looking for a volunteer. I shrunk down in my seat, trying to become invisible. _Please don’t pick me, Please don’t pick me…_ “Jude, can you come up here and tell me what this smells like?”

Of course. Just my luck.

I apprehensively made my way to the front of the classroom. I stood over the cauldron and took a whiff…

”Um, it smells like... like pancakes, the woods, and-“ _Connor’s cologne._ I bit my lip before I could blurt it out.

“Yes?” The professor prodded.

“That's it.” I lied, trying desperately not to look at Connor. I ended up sneaking a look anyway, who looked like he was lost in thought. I stiffened. Did I say anything that would tip him off…? 

 _The woods._ Crap.

The teacher’s bellowing voice broke me out of my thoughts. “What about you, Connor? What do you smell?

Connor walked up to the front of the classroom and stood next to me. He took a whiff before talking. “I smell... cookies, and Quidditch turf, and-“ he faltered, looking at the cauldron as if it had just said the most confusing thing in the world.. 

“…that's it.” He finished, hurrying back to his seat.

“See class? Every person’s is different.” The professor said, turning around to face the class.

“Do you think it really works?” A Hufflepuff girl asked loudly without raising her hand. 

Before he could answer, that girl from earlier, Taylor, answered her question. “I think it creates infatuation... Not true love.”

“Of course.” Her curly headed best friend said next to her. I always forge her name. What was it? Danica or something... She continued, “You can't create true love. Duh!”

The professor interrupted her before she could continue. “Alright class, research the ingredients needed for Amortentia and the procedure for the rest of the class period.”

I turned to Connor and, weird Amortentia encounter forgotten, we started to work on our potion.

 

* * *

 

Right before dinner, I found Connor right outside the Gryffindor boys’ locker room. He must have been coming straight from Quidditch tryouts, his hair still damp from his post workout shower.  I bit my lip as I tried not to stare at him flicking his wet hair out of his face, looking so _hot_ -

_Bad Jude. Really, really bad Jude._

I walked up to him and greeted him with a wave. We started to walk through the halls together. “Hey, just reminding you that tonight we have that meeting to sort out the prefect patrol schedule.” I said.

He groaned, “Crap! I totally forgot about that!”

“How did Quidditch tryouts go?”

He smiled and ran a hand through is wet hair, trying to fix it into place. “Decent I think. Obviously I'm the keeper. We recruited this new girl Maya to be our seeker. She's a little rough around the edges, but she has potential.”

“What about the chasers and the beaters?” I asked.

“Well, for chasers, we have Greg and Tony from last year...” He trailed off. “Then we recruited Devin. He's... not that great, unfortunately, but we'll train hard.” He said determinedly. "We still have Jeremy as beater from last year. He’s an asshole, but he’s got a wicked arm. Wyatt is the other beater this year. He's actually really good. Doesn't he hang around with Callie?”

I tried to remember what I knew about Wyatt. “Yeah, I think so. I don’t think I’ve ever really talked to him though.”

“Anyway, we're totally going to kick ass this season. Slytherin is going down.” He said, nudging me with his shoulder.

I scoffed. “In your dreams Connor! Nobody's as fast as Jesus and you know it.” I bantered.

“Sadly, it's true. But you’ll still be cheering for me, right?” He asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. 

I laughed and ruffled his hair. “Not a chance, quaffle head!”

“Ugh,” he groaned, “why can't you be in Gryffindor? My life would be so much easier!”

“Why aren't you a Slytherin?” I retaliated “Oh that's right, you're too reckless!”

He gasped overdramatically. “What? Me? Reckless? Never!”

“What about that time when you knocked over that whole suit of armor playing exploding snap?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Or that time when you gave Professor Holt that prank candy from the joke shop? Or what about that time when-“

He cut me off. “Okay, okay! I get the point! Besides, if we were in the same dorm, I'm pretty sure we'd kill each other."

“Please, I am the perfect roommate.” I argued.

“Too perfect! I bet you never ever have clothes on the floor and go to bed at 10:00.” It’s true. Out of habit from my previous foster homes, I always kept my area tidy and neat.

“That's better than leaving stuff all over the place and staying up late!” I sputtered, scrunching my nose and huffing.

“You're too cute.” He said, chuckling. Then, he stiffened once he realized what he said.

 _Cute?_ I blushed while butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

“So, uh, when is this meeting?” He asked, trying to quickly change the subject.

My tongue was in knots. “Um, i-it's at 7:00.” I stuttered.

“Okay I'll be there.” Connor started running down the flight of moving stairs that lead to the Gryffindor common room. “Gotta go post the Quidditch list, bye!” He said while running away.

_Cute. Huh._

 

* * *

 

Connor and I sat next to each other at the prefect meeting, listening to my sister Callie (this year’s Head Girl) make announcements.

“Alright guys,” She said, “I've decided that patrol partners will be from different houses this year-“

“What?” Some older Slytherin prefect interrupted, “Why?”

“Well, Brandon and I talked about it, and we feel like the houses should intermix a little more.” She affirmed, looking at Brandon. 

He nodded and chimed in. “Right now, most people only make friends within their own house. But who knows who you'll befriend if you talk to people from other houses!” The Head Boy said, trying to encourage the other prefects.

Callie took charge of the conversation once more. “I've put Mariana in charge of pairing you up. If you can't make it for patrol for whatever reason, please go to her.” She gestured to Mariana.

“Okay guys!” Mariana said, standing up. “So first things first: let me give you your partners. Callie, you'll be with Brandon. Jude, you're with Connor." I could have sworn that she just winked at me... "Jesus, you'll be with Hayley. Zac, you and Matt are partners. Taylor, you can be with John-“ She rambled on.

Connor and I looked at each other and grinned. I was really starting to like this house mixing rule... 

After reading off the pairs, Mariana sat back down. Brandon started to dismiss us. “Alright guys, I think that's it.” He said, “Good luck on the rest of the school year! If you have any questions or concerns, you can come to me or Callie. Meeting dismissed."

Connor and I walked out of the meeting room and beamed at each other.

“Dude, this is seriously awesome!” Connor said, high-fiving me.

“I know!” I said excitedly. “Patrols are going to rock.”

“I know." He yawned as we reached the point where our common rooms were in separate directions. "Goodnight Jude!” He said, giving me a quick hug before walking away towards the Gryffindor dorms. I smiled softly.

“Night Connor!” I hollered after him.

 _It’s shaping up to be a great year._ I thought as I walked towards the green and silver dorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you need clarification:  
> Mariana is a 6th year Ravenclaw prefect and Jesus is the 6th year Slytherin Quidditch Captain  
> Callie (Gryffindor) and Brandon (Ravenclaw) are Head Girl and Head Boy, respectively. 
> 
> Aaaaand I think that's it! Updates will come much faster now that I'm out of school for the summer.  
> If you liked it, please let me know! Encouragement always speeds up the writing process :-)


	3. Hidden Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry for the long wait between updates. Life has been hectic so I'm catching up on all of my writing now.

There’s nothing like almost getting your fingers bitten off by killer plants early on a Thursday morning. Herbology is definitely one of my more interesting classes, to say in the least.

Connor and I were finishing up potting the Fanged Geranium we had been assigned to tame by the stubby Herbology professor.  After putting it in the pot without loosing any of our fingers, we headed to our desks and started putting our textbooks and garden shears back in our book bags.

I snuck a glance over at Connor, who was putting his books away, his biceps flexed slightly. I bit my lip when I saw him run a hand through his hair absent-mindedly. _Stupid Connor. Why does he have to be so cute?_  

“Hi Jude” I heard a voice say, breaking me out of my trance. I looked up to see a vaguely familiar Hufflepuff girl bashfully greeting me with a wave.

“Hi Maddie.” I responded, smiling politely at her. She beamed at me, bit her lip, and then walked away. I looked after her confusedly. We had never really talked before, except when necessary for group work or projects. I wonder why she suddenly started talking to me…

“She totally likes you.” Connor said, interrupting my train of thought.

“Who?”

Connor rolled his eyes exasperatedly. “Maddie! Didn't you notice her staring at you during class?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. “Not really, I was a little preoccupied trying not to lose my fingers!” I stressed, wiggling my fingers in front of his face and smiling wryly, shooting a glare over towards the stupid flesh eating plants.

“Whatever. She so digs you.” Connor said, finishing packing up his stuff.

“If you say so…” I said while we walked out of the green houses, heading towards the great hall for lunch.

“So... Do you like her?” Connor asked me while we were walking, looking at me with this weird expression on his face.

“What? Who?” I asked stupidly.

“Maddie, duh!”

I stiffened. Oh right. He thinks I like girls.  _You should really just tell him…_

No. It could ruin _everything._

I shook my head. “Oh. No. Not like that. She's a nice girl and all, but... No.” I said, looking down, hoping that Connor wouldn’t catch the guilty look on my face.

“Okay.” Connor said, his expression guarded. Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in that head of his. I shrugged it off as we walked in comfortable silence towards the Great Hall. 

Connor left me halfway through the journey to go to Quidditch practice. After he had waved goodbye, I let the guilty expression that I had suppressed cross my face.

_How could I keep hiding my secret from Connor? Would he still want to be my friend, even if I was gay?_ _Of course he would, don’t be stupid._ I thought, shaking my head and running a hand through my hair.

I looked around the hallway, spotting Mariana a couple of feet in front of me. I caught up with her, slightly running to make up the distance between us.

“Hey Mariana.” I said, falling into step with her.

She looked over at me and her expression brightened. “Oh, Hey Judicorn! What’s up?” She asked, giving me a side hug.

“Nothing really, just got back from Herbology.”

She took a small whiff of me and wrinkled her nose. “That explains why you smell like soil.” She said, chuckling. “Where’s Connor? I’ve just noticed the lack of muscles in the room.”

“Ha ha, very funny Mariana.” I deadpanned. “He’s meeting with the new Gryffindor Quidditch team to work out scheduling, I think.”

“Quidditch has done him some good. I mean, look at his biceps…” she giggled.

“Mariana!” I said, feeling my cheeks heat up. She laughed and flipper her hair over her shoulder.

“I’m just teasing, Jude. Anything new? You know, between you two?” She questioned, looking at me curiously. Crap. This was what I was looking to avoid.

“Nope. Same old same old.” I said, shrugging. I tried to act casual, but I’m sure she could see right through my act.

She huffed in frustration. “Ugh, you two are both so blind.”

“What?” I asked confusedly. _What the heck is she talking about?_

She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “Never mind. I have to go. I have a date with Zac. I’ll see you around, Jude! 

She kissed me on the cheek and flounced off to attend her prefect duties. “Bye! Good Luck!” I hollered after her, heading to the Great Hall. 

* * *

 

It was Friday afternoon. We were in the library, chatting and doing our homework during our free period. Just an ordinary day.

The sentence “Hey, since you don't like Maddie, is it okay if I ask her out?” was the last thing I thought would have come out of Connor Steven’s mouth.

Unfortunately, it happened.

Now I’m sure I looked like an absolute idiot, staring at him in shock before I got my wits together.

“Um... Sure, I guess. If you like her.” I stammered awkwardly, turning my face so he couldn’t see the shock and jealousy written across my face.

“Cool.” He said, looking over at he from across the hall. I bit my lip to keep myself from saying something that I’d seriously regret. Something along the lines of _‘Why aren’t you looking at me like that?’_ or _‘How can you not see that I’m in love with you?’_

Luckily I kept my mouth shut and just looked at him like a kicked puppy. Good thing he was looking at Maddie so he didn’t notice.

  _Damn it._

 After a few minutes, I got tired of watching Connor stare at Maddie. Sighing, I gathered up my books and left the table. He didn’t even notice.

 Apparently, Maddie walked out at the same time too, our paths crossing as we headed out of the library. I could feel Connors gaze on the two of us as she smiled softly at me. “Hey Jude.” She greeted shyly, tucking a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear.

I forced a smile. “Hi.”

“Do you know what the homework was from yesterday? I totally spaced the whole last half of Herbology.” She said, fiddling with the bottom of her sweater.

I thought about it for a second before remembering. “It’s the even problems on page 96. Then we have to do that diagram….” I trailed off, trying to remember if there was anything else. “I think that’s it. You might want to double check though. I’m not the best at remembering homework.”

 She giggled softly and I couldn’t help but give her a smile. “Okay. Thanks Jude! See ya!” She thanked before starting to walk out of the library.

 I saw Connor starting to walk up to me, looking irritated.

 “Why were you guys talking? I thought you said you didn't like her!” He accused, stepping closer to me and scowling.

 “What? She just asked what the homework was.” I said defensively.

 Did he really think that I would try to steal Maddie away from him like that? _Well. That hurt._

 “Oh.” He said, his expression surprised.

 "Don’t worry, Maddie isn’t my type.” I spat, getting angry. He gave me a confused look and I paled.

  _Crap. Did I say too much? Did he figure it out?_

“So… you don’t like brunettes? You’re into blondes?” He inquired, quirking his head.

 Internally, I let out a sigh of relief. _He still doesn’t know_.

 I looked at his dirty blonde hair and bit my lip.

 “I guess you could say that” I mumbled.

* * *

 

The following week consisted of Connor ditching me to go chase after Maddie. It was weird without him constantly at my side. Even when Connor had previously had other girlfriends, we still hung out almost constantly. 

Things were changing, and I didn’t like it. Why was Maddie so different than all of the other girls he dated? Was it because she flirted with me? Was Connor… jealous?

_Stop it Jude, don’t think like that. You can’t think like that._

I shook my head, turning my attention back to the night patrol I was currently doing with Connor. I sneaked a glance at him before ducking my head down.

“Maddie’s my girlfriend now.”  Connor declared, breaking the silence. 

My head shot up and I looked at him, my eyes wide _. That was fast_. “Okay.” I said, trying to make my expression neutral, but I couldn’t help the irritation that was bubbling under the surface.

He looked at he expectantly, smiling. “What? No congratulations?”

 “Why did you have to date the one girl that liked me?” I blurted, the irritation evident in my tone.

 He was taken aback by my hostility. “What?”

 “You could have dated anyone in the entire school, but you decided to go for the one that had a crush on your best friend!” I elaborated exasperatedly, stopping our patrol to turn and face him.

 He met my stare with equal intensity. “Look Jude, I liked Maddie before I knew she liked you-“

 “Oh really? Because you didn't talk about her before she started flirting with me!”

 “That's because I wanted to keep it private...”

I scoffed. “That's a lie and you know it. We tell each other everything.” Well, not _everything…_

 “Why do you even care?” He said, running a hand through his hair. “You don't even like her in the first place!”

 “This isn't about you liking Maddie, okay?”

  _I said too much. He’s going to put it together. Oh god oh god oh god-_

 His anger melted away to confusion; I could almost see the wheels turning in his brain. “Then what is it about?”

 “Never mind.” I quipped, trying to cover up my mistake “It doesn't matter.” I started walking quickly, trying to hurriedly finish our patrol route.

 He started walking quickly to catch up and looked at me concernedly. “Jude-“

 “There’s a game tomorrow, yeah?” I said, effectively cutting him off and trying to change the subject.

 He nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah.”

 “I’ll see you there.” I affirmed as we reached the end of our patrol route. “Okay, well... Goodnight.” I said hurriedly, turning to go down to the Slytherin common room.

 “Goodnight, Jude.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Please leave kudos or review!
> 
> Have something you want me to include in the story? Leave suggestions in the comments or message them to me on my tumblr (ultimatejonnorshipper)
> 
> Please please please please please please give me feedback! It's very encouraging in the writing process :) 
> 
> See you next week with a new instalment :-)


	4. Conflict of Interest

“Jude!” I heard someone yell my name during breakfast in the Great Hall. I turned around, rubbing my eyes, trying to expel the last remnants of sleep from my head. Callie waved and took a seat next to me, her red and gold tie clashing with the other green and silver ties around us.

“Hey. What's up?”

“Moms need you to sign these papers.” She answered, giving me a brief side hug and sliding a small stack of papers in front of me.

“What for?” I asked as she handed me a pen.

“I'm not sure, but it has something to do with the adoption.”

I perked up suddenly. Anything to do with the adoption automatically put me in a good mood. “Okay!” Uncapping the pen, I signed the papers eagerly, scribbling my signature along all the indicated dotted lines.

As I was signing, Callie asked me a question. “You ready for this?”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, nudging her with my shoulder. “Of course I'm ready to be adopted. It's too far away though.” I added, picking up the now signed papers and handing them to her.

“I know.” She took them, agreeing with me, before her gaze flickered down to my hand. “Hey, what’s that on your nails?“

My gaze flickered to my blue nails as I answered reluctantly. “Just some nail polish. Mariana did them.” Callie wasn’t the biggest fan of me doing stuff that was… out of the ordinary. I bit my lip and waited for her response, hoping she wouldn't blow up at me. 

“Just, make sure you take it off before you go to class, alright?” She took my hand into her own. “I don’t want you getting beat up-”

“I can take care of myself, Callie.” I snapped, pulling my hand out of her grip. She opened her mouth to retaliate before Brandon walked over to us. He gave me a brisk wave in greeting and tapped Callie’s shoulder.

“Callie, an emergency just came up. Two prefects are having a fight. Third floor corridor.” Brandon said.

Callie got up from the Slytherin table, turning to me. “I have to go Jude. I’ll see you later, yeah?” She asked, raising her eyebrows as a silent request for a truce.

I sighed. “Yeah.” I answered. She smiled and turned on her heel, pulling Brandon down the hallway by the wrist. As they left, I noticed her intertwine their fingers, holding his hand for longer than necessary.

_What the heck was that about?_

* * *

 

I hang out in the Gryffindor common room pretty often. It’s nice, cozy, and in the middle of pretty much the whole school which means it’s fairly easy to get to. Connor and I usually do our homework there. Actually, we usually don’t end up getting much work done… We usually just goof off.

“I hate charms!” Connor groaned, waving his wand around wildly, emitting an exasperated sigh.

“I love charms!” I said brightly, performing our assigned charm perfectly on the first try. He fake-glared at me and I beamed back, letting out a small laugh.

“It's so hard.” He complained, trying to do the spell for the third time and failing miserably. Needless to say, Connor’s strong suit wasn’t charms.

I tried to give him a pep talk. “Oh come on, Connor there's nothing to it! All you have to do is flex your wrist during your wand moments and you've got it.” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He waved his wand again in a circular motion, similar to what we were suppose to be doing, but not exactly correct. “Like this?” He questioned as he did the movement.

I chuckled and shook my head. “No, like this.”

I took his hand into my hand and guided him into doing the correct arm movement. Butterflies started fluttering madly in my stomach. I made the mistake of looking up at his face; he caught my gaze and I blushed madly, realizing I had probably been holding his hand for longer than necessary.

Connor seemed unaffected by my slip up. “Thanks.” He said gratefully, and preformed the spell correctly. He breathed out a sigh of relief and grinned.

“No problem.” I responded, turning away so he couldn’t see the blush that probably still covered my face.

“Oh shoot!” Connor exclaimed, looking at the time, “I'm late for Quidditch warm-ups! See you at the game, Jude!”

“Bye!” I chuckled as he frantically gathered up his stuff and ran out of the library.

I shook my head fondly and chuckled, watching him race out of the library. After I studied for about twenty more minutes, I started to pack up my own stuff. Picking up all of my books, I left the library to go back to the Slytherin common room. My plan was to drop off my stuff there before heading to the game to support my best friend.

_My best friend who now had a girlfriend._

Why did I think this year would be any different than last year? Or the year before that? This is going to be just another 365 days of pining over Connor while he dates a new girl every month.

I sighed and snapped out of my train of thought as I heard cold, obnoxious laughing behind me.

_Shit. Please tell me it’s not Blake._

I glanced over my shoulder, my gaze flitting across the boy that had tormented me since first year. And he brought his sidekick Jeremy with him. I paled and quickly looked forward, my heart starting to beat out of my chest. Maybe if I didn’t say anything they wouldn’t notice me-

“Hey princess, where's your boyfriend?” I heard Jeremy yell from behind me, his voice sounding closer than he had been when I glimpsed at him. I started to walk a little faster before I felt a rough tug on my wrist that sent me flying into a wall, my back connecting with the stone with a loud thump.

I grimaced, but tried not to show weakness. “Leave me alone.” I said, sounding stronger than I felt. I looked around the hallway for someone to back me up, but the corridor was empty. Everyone must be at the Quidditch game already.

Blake grabbed my hand, “Look at his nails!”

“What, are you wearing a bra too?” Jeremy jeered.

I tore my hand from his grip and pressed myself against the wall. “Why don't you just grow up!” I said, taking a step forwards and shoving Blake backwards.

He growled. “You little bitch!” He took me by the front of my robes and shoved me back against the wall. I felt my heart clench with fear as they sneered at me.

“It’s people like you who disgust me.” Blake growled threateningly.

“People like me?”

“Fags.” He spat the word out, making a disgusted face. My heart dropped. _So even Blake’s figured it out._ He sneered at me. “Creeping up on us, checking us out... It's disgusting.”

Trying to show a little bit of resilience, I scoffed. “Please, you’re the last person I would ever consider attractive-“ I said.

I was cut off by a swift punch to the face.

I let out a cry as pain blossomed over the left side of my face. Damn, Blake really knew how to throw a punch. I brought my hand to the tender area, touching it softly to assess the damage. It stung like a b-

“See you around, Princess.” I heard Blake yell as he started laughing cruelly, his chuckles echoing around the hall; Jeremy followed closely behind him, copying his dark laugh. I stood there in shock for a few moments before heading to the Slytherin common room, clutching my books in one hand, and my bruised cheek in the other. 

* * *

 

I hissed as I brought the ice pack to my face, trying to reduce the swelling. I walking down the hallway, coming back from the library; I had been trying to look for a spell that would reduce or cover the bruise, however I didn’t have any luck. I guess I could go to the hospital wing, but that would be embarrassing… Plus, that way I’d have to tell someone who gave me the bruise…

“Hey Jude!” I heard a voice yell from behind me, which I instantly recognized as Connor’s.

My stomach seized in fear. _How was I going to hide this bruise? What excuse can I use for missing his first Quidditch game other than telling him the lame truth?_

“Where were you? You missed the game!” He said, irritation clear in his tone. I bit my lip. Well… he’s going to figure out eventually. Might as well be now. I turned around slowly and heard him gasp as soon as he caught sight of my face. “What the hell- What happened to you?” He questioned, moving closer to look at my bruise.

“I-uh, fell down some stairs.” I said weakly, trying to make a cover story.

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “Bullshit.” He muttered, reaching out to trail his thumb lightly over the bruise. I winced; Connor looked at me, worry written across his face. "Come on, I'm taking you to the infirmary.”

“N-no, I'm fine...” I insisted, “It’s just a bruise.”

A moment of silence passed. “Who the hell did this to you?” He asked, a growl deep in his voice.

“Who do you think?”

He didn’t even have to think about it. “Blake and Jeremy.” He answered, his voice gravelly and intense. We sat in silence for a few moments; him, in anger, and I, in pain.

Without another word, Connor stalked off down the hallway, seemingly on a mission. “Connor!” I called out, trying to keep up with him, but loosing him as he rounded the corner.

_I hope he doesn’t do anything too irrational._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys if you liked it please let me know! Comments help me motivate myself to write!


	5. Breakups and Hookups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting more frequent with my updates! I'm not even kidding, all the feedback pushes me to update. Thank you guys so much for all the kudos and comments!

When Jeremy and Blake walked into the Great Hall with matching black eyes, I should have been surprised. But I wasn’t.

From the moment they walked in the door, I knew that Connor had taken part in giving them those black eyes. But he couldn’t have taken on both of them at the same time. He would have needed an accomplice…

I glanced over at the Gryffindor table and saw Jesus wrapping a bandage around bloody knuckles. _Aha. Bingo_.

I stood up from my place at the Slytherin table, about to give Jesus a piece of my mind, when Connor walked into the Great Hall. A smirk was resting on his face as he sauntered through the doors. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked up to him determinedly; his smirk seemed to drop off his face and he looked panicked for a second before resuming his seemingly confident stature. 

“Connor!” I growled as soon as I was in hearing distance of him. He swallowed, his confident smile turning into a nervous one.

“Jude! You're looking better!” He said, sounding a bit relieved. I grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out of the Great Hall, only letting go when we were secluded in one of the hallways.

“Did you and Jesus beat up Jeremy and Blake?” I asked him bluntly 

His eyes shifted around for a bit, never meeting my gaze. “Uh-“

“Did you?”

He relented. “Okay, fine, yes we did-“

 “Connor!” I said, groaning, running a hand through my hair. This was so embarrassing. _Now Jeremy and Blake will taunt me because I can’t fight my own battles._ I huffed at the thought.

“They hurt you, Jude. What were you expecting me to do, just let it go?”

“Yes!”

He let out a grunt in exasperation “Well, I can't, okay? Sorry I care about you!” He said hotly, stepping closely to me.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. “What?”

The fierce look in his eyes melted away into panic for a second, before he closed his emotions off, giving me an unreadable stare.

_Was this really it? When he said he cared about me, did he mean like-_

"Jude you're my best friend. I can't let them beat you up and not do anything.”

_Of course. I was stupid to think that he meant…_

I huffed. “Fine. But next time-" 

“There will be no next time-“ He growled, saying the words like a promise.

“Well if there is...” I shook my head. “Violence is never the answer.”

He shrugged. I gave him a stern look; eventually, he conceded with me and nodded his head. We sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds before he asked me a question. “Why do they hate you so much anyways?”

All of Blake and Jeremy’s cruel words from yesterday rang in my head, but one stood out like a mantra above them all. _Fag._ “Um- uh- probably because I'm a muggle-born in Slytherin.” I stuttered, trying to cover up the fact that they were teasing me because of something that I hadn’t revealed to Connor yet.

“Well you don't know for sure you're a muggle-born.”

He was right. Callie and I… we didn’t know if we were muggle-borns or half-bloods. Our parents had died when we were really young in a car accident. Neither of them had practiced magic around the house from what we could remember, but then again one of them could have just given up magic for the muggle world. I don’t know who would do that, but I guess it’s possible. More than likely, though, we’re both muggle born.

“Yeah, I guess.” I said skeptically.

“Even if you were, blood status doesn't matter. Anyone who thinks so is dumb.” He declared as we started walking back to the Great Hall. 

I snorted. “You basically just called your whole family dumb.”

“My whole family is dumb.” Connor said, laughing, while wrapping an arm around my shoulders. As he pulled me closer, I was reminded of the time when I first stayed over at his house… 

 

_It was the summer between second and third year when I first went over to Connor’s house. He had been to my house (well… foster house, I guess) loads of times, always getting along with my siblings and my moms. However, I had never been to his. And now I knew why._

_His house was huge, sure. He had a huge room filled with all of the Quidditch gear a 14 year old could want. But there was no warmth, no joy, and no real affection in the house._

_Connor’s dad disliked me from the moment I walked in the door. I’m not sure why, but I guess there was just something about me that set him off the wrong way. Sure, he smiled and let me stay over, but only for his son’s sake._

_Anyways, it was the middle of the night. Connor had gone downstairs to get a drink of water ten minutes ago. I also started feeling thirsty, so I decided to sneak downstairs to join him._

_I crept down the stairs, trying to get down without waking up Connor’s parents. However, halfway down the stairs, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. A deep male voice grumbled. “Connor, I'm not sure being friends with him is a good idea-“_

_“What?” Connor asked, clearly very annoyed, “Why? Jude's great-“_

_“He’s a Slytherin.” Mr. Stevens pointed out. I remember Connor telling me about his dad being a hardcore Gryffindor back in his Hogwarts days, so it’s really no surprise that he had an issue with me being from his rival house._

_Connor scoffed. “Dad, are you serious-“_

_"He's also a muggle-born.”_

_It was silent for a moment and my heart stuttered in my chest. I didn’t take Connor’s dad as the type to care about blood status. “You don't know that.” Connor said weakly, him having explained the whole ‘I didn’t know my blood lineage’ thing a couple of weeks ago before I came to visit._

_“Well even if he wasn't, he was muggle raised-“_

_“So what? So what if he's muggle born or raised? It shouldn’t matter. He's my best friend.”_

_The older man sighed. “Connor, what will your grandparents think? Or the rest of the family?”_

_“Who cares what they think?” Connor retorted. “Besides, it’s not like I’m going to bring him to every stuffy family party.” He grumbled._

_“You’re right. Blood status doesn’t matter to me. I was just trying to guard you from the scorn of the rest of the family, but it’s not like they ever have to meet him. It’s fine...” Adam conceded. There was an awkward pause between the two before Mr. Stevens started chuckling. “As long as you don’t marry him. I would have to disown you.” He said, like that was the most ridiculous thought in the world. Connor laughed along uncomfortably, and I crept back upstairs, my quest to get water long forgotten._

 

I shook my head, pulling myself out of the flashback as we entered the Great Hall once more, and walked over to Jesus, ready to give him a piece of my mind.  

* * *

“Maddie and I broke up.” Connor revealed during our nightly patrol. My heart lifted out of my chest. I felt bad, I really did, but I couldn’t stop the small smile from ghosting over my face for a second. Remembering that Connor must be feeling awful, I turned to him with a worried expression on my face.

“What? Why?” I asked.

He opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated. He turned away. “I don't know why she broke up with me, she didn't say.”

I looked at him concernedly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I'm fine.” I dismissed, waving a hand. He didn’t look too upset about it. Actually, he didn’t look upset at all.

“Good.” When we turned the corner to walk down our last hallway, I started hearing noises. “Wait, Did you hear that?” I asked the older boy, stopping right in front of a broom cupboard. Connor pressed his ear to the door and grimaced.

“What even is that? It sounds like-“ A loud moan and some muffed noises cut off Connor’s sentence.

Burying my face in my hands, a blush started rising in my cheeks. “Oh god…” I muttered.

Connor scratched behind his neck awkwardly. “Well... There's a first time interrupting people making out in a broom closet, right?” He chuckled, and I nodded in agreement, placing my hand on the door handle. 

“Right.” I affirmed, preparing myself to open the door. “Okay, on the count of three. One... Two... Three!” I said, as Connor and I both pushed the door open.

The first thing we saw was two bodies so closely intertwined that I couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended. Both had multiple pieces of clothing missing, but they were still covered from our view. The girl, who looked really familiar, let out a squeak of surprise, hiding behind the shirtless, muscular figure of the boy, who’s face I still couldn’t see. “Hey! Can't we have a little privacy?” The boy grumbled, turning to us. Oh god. I knew that voice.

“Jesus?” I questioned as he turned around to face me, looking like a deer caught in headlights. I recognized the other girl as Mariana’s best friend. She was going to _freak_ when she found out who her twin was hooking up with… “Lexi? Oh my god-“

“Get out!” Jesus yelled, pushing Connor and I out of the broom cupboard, shutting the door. “At least wait to punish us until we’re decent.” We conceded, and let them get dressed. They stumbled out of the door, hair tangled and cheeks flushed.

My brother looked at me with puppy dog eyes, silently begging me not to get him in trouble. I thought about it for a minute, then sighed. “Look, Jesus, since it's my first time catching you I'll let you off the hook-“

“What?” Connor asked in disbelief, looking at me skeptically.

Jesus grinned at me and scooped me up into a big hug, lifting me off my feet. “Yes! Thank you!”

I wriggled out of his arms and gave him a stern glare. “But the next time I catch you hooking up with a girl in a broom closet I'm giving you a week of detention.”

“You're the best Jude!” He yelled, taking Lexi by the hand and running down the hallway to go back to their respective dormitories. I rolled my eyes at their antics.

I felt Connors gaze on me and turned to see him looking at me. “You're too nice.” He declared after their retreating figures had gone out of sight.

“Not really.” I said, grinning. “You see, what I didn't tell him is that his shirt is on backwards and he has lipstick stains all over his face.” I giggled as he smiled, bumping me with his shoulder.

He whistled, impressed. “You're one evil guy, Judicorn.” He said, using Mariana’s nickname for me. I scowled.

“Don't call me that!”


	6. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy so i was in the hospital and that was why i didn't keep my weekly update promise please don't kill me

“It's Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff and the stakes are high, folks!” The announcer boomed, her voice echoing across the stadium. The crowd was pumped for the second game of the season, yelling chants and waving signs supporting the teams that they were rooting for. I was wedged in the Gryffindor stands next to Jesus, and I stuck out like a sore thumb; my green and silver tie clashing with the sea of gold and scarlet. It’s not like I really paid attention, though. I was cheering just as loud as the rest of them.

“Go Connor!” I yelled as broomsticks zoomed around the field, blowing everyone’s hair all over the place. Jesus cheered next to me, waving his arms around turbulently.

I heard a scoff from behind me. Turning around, I caught sight of Blake. He was seated a couple rows away from us; his black eye was fading, but still prominent against his freckly skin. “Cheering for your boyfriend, Jude?” He yelled tauntingly. I blushed and ducked my head down, trying not to provoke his wrath.

“I’d shut the fuck up before you get another black eye, Blake.” Jesus yelled back, throwing him the middle finger. I let out a snort of laughter and grinned at Jesus before turning my attention back to the game. 

“And Gryffindor has the Quaffle once more!” The announcer bellowed. “Their seeker, Heather McLaughlin, is headed down the pitch… But wait! Look at those Gryffindor chasers! ” She pointed towards the Hufflepuff goal post. “Watch the quaffle now…. And it’s in! Ten points to Gryffindor!” She whooped, waving her red and gold scarf proudly. Getting a few glares from teachers, she put down the scarf and resumed narrating the game. “Hufflepuff has now reclaimed the ball, and is headed towards the Gryffindor hoops…”

The Hufflepuff chasers were speeding down the pitch towards Connor, their yellow Quidditch robes flowing behind them. They were setting up for the play, about to throw it towards the goal posts. They passed, once, twice, then shot it- “And it’s blocked by the Gryffindor keeper, Connor Stevens. What a save!” The announcer yelled, beaming. “Connor is on his A game today! He’s saved every single Quaffle they’ve thrown at the goal. 

I jumped to my feet, whooping and hollering and high fiving Jesus. Suddenly, a gold blur shot past us, a few feet over our heads. It was soon followed by the two seekers, who were head to head in a competition for the snitch. It looked like the Hufflepuff seeker, a small, second year boy, was about to pull ahead. However, before he could get the chance, the Gryffindor seeker, Heather, leaned forward on her broom, using her longer arms to elbow him out of the way and catch the snitch. The crowd roared, getting up on their feet, cheering loudly.

The whistle blew, signaling the end of the match. “And that’s the end of the game, folks! Gryffindor has crushed Hufflepuff, the final score being an astounding 210 to 0. Connor, man you are the real MVP! No goals in? Insane!” The announcer said, astounded. The teachers gave her another stern look. “Uh, anyway, this concludes the Quidditch game. Go Gryffindor!” 

I saw the whole Gryffindor house pour out of the stands and onto the fields, giving the players a warm welcome when they got off their brooms. I decided to join them to congratulate Connor. So, after waving a quick goodbye to Jesus, I ran out of the stands and onto the field, looking for my best friend. I spotted him in the middle of a group of people.

He was sweaty and beaming and so, so hot.

He saw me and ran towards me, yelling  “JUDE WE WON! WE WON!” He yelled, pushing through the people to try and get to me. 

I laughed. “I KNOW!” I yelled back over the people. When he finally got to me, he wrapped me in a hug, lifting me off my feet. I laughed and hugged him back, looping my arms around his neck. Even after he set me back down, we kept our embrace. My heart was pounding from the proximity as I buried my face into his neck, catching the scent of his cologne; the same one I smelled in my Amortentia. He chuckled, his breath ghosting over my neck. I shivered.

People around us started wolf whistling and hollering. And that’s when I realized that our hug lasted way longer than just a friendly, best-friend type hug. It was… something different entirely. I pulled away slightly so that we were face to face, blushing profusely. He looked at me for a moment fondly before he looked around and realizing that everyone was watching us. His face paled and he let go of me, quickly moving an arms distance away.

His gaze was drawn back to me and we stared at each other for a moment. I opened my mouth to speak. “Connor-“ 

Before I could say anything, another one of the teammates shouted. “Come on, guys, time to party!” The crowed roared with energy as people started pouring back into the castle, headed towards the Gryffindor common room. People started pushing and shoving; I lost Connor in the crowd. 

What would I have said, even if no one interrupted me? I could have said something dumb, like ‘ _Connor! Great game, now kiss the hell out of me’_ or ‘ _Connor, I’m really embarrassingly in love with you’._

Yikes.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, and headed toward the Gryffindor common room where the victory party was. I’m pretty sure all of my family would be there, seeing that my family loves a good party. Well, accept for Callie, but I was pretty sure she would be there anyway, seeing that it is in her common room. 

That hug kept replaying over and over in my head. Did this mean that he liked me? My heart skipped a beat at that thought. From that hug… it might be worth it to tell him my feelings. I mean, _what if he feels the same way?_ I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face at that thought. What if, while I was secretly in love with him, he was secretly in love with me too?

So, I made a decision. I would tell him. Tonight.

* * *

 By the time I entered the common room, the party was in full swing. Sifting through the people, I spotted Jesus in the crowd. He was dancing with Lexi. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Have you seen Connor?” I asked him.

Jesus nodded, still preoccupied with Lexi. He pointed behind me. “Yeah, he's over there…” He looked over and his sentence trailed off, his expression portraying shock. 

“Thanks.” I said, patting him on the shoulder and turning.

I heard Jesus yell “Jude! Wait!” as I turned around, but it was too late. I had seen him.

I saw Connor. With a girl.

They were kissing. Like, really kissing. 

My heart felt like someone had taken a knife and carved out a huge chunk.

His arms were firmly wrapped around her waist and she had her hands tangled in her hair. Every second I watched them was like another blow to the heart. I clutched my chest, wishing for it to stop hurting so much.

I turned around quickly, not wanting to see… _them_ … anymore. I tried to talk to Jesus, to say anything, but all that came out was “I-I-I...” I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see the tears welling in them.

“Jude...” He said gently, not really knowing how to comfort me.

I backed away. “I have to go.” I said, dashing out of the common room without so much as a glance. 

“Jude!” I heard Jesus yell after me, but I ignored the call of my name

I’m so, so _stupid_. How did I think, for even a second, that Connor returned my feelings?

* * *

I ran into an empty classroom, sat down in the middle of the cold floor, and let my quiet sobs loose, wrapping my arms around myself. For a few minutes, it was just me and my thoughts in the room.

 _Did you honestly Connor could ever have feelings for you?_ My conscious taunted.  _He will never think of you in that way. You never even have a chance._

I let out another sob at that thought. All of the sudden, I heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in my lap, hoping whoever was out there wouldn’t hear or see me. However, luck wasn’t on my side today. The door creaked open, and I heard a guy grumbling and feminine voice rang out. “Hello? Who's-“ The girl gasped. “Jude!”

Someone’s arms slid around me and started stroking my hair. I immediately knew who it was. _Callie._ Brandon must be here too since they’re attached at the hip. That would explain the voices I heard.

“Jude, baby, what's wrong?” She asked, hugging me tightly. Brandon knelt down on the floor next to us, looking at me concernedly.

“I-I saw C-Connor and Chelsea and t-they were-“ I cut off with a sob and buried my face into her shoulder.

Her voice was full of sympathy. “Oh, Jude-"

The door creaked open once more and two more people stepped inside. “Callie? Brandon? We've been looking all over-“ The voice went quiet and I heard a gasp. I looked up to see Mariana and Jesus crouching down next to me, my adoptive sister putting a hand on my shoulder sympathetically.

“You saw Connor and Chelsea, didn't you?” She asked, already knowing the answer. I looked at Jesus, who gave me a knowing look, and nodded.

Her voice was full of compassion. “Oh, Jude...”

Brandon decided to speak up, his voice quiet but strong. “Why now? None of Connor’s girlfriends have bothered you before...”

“I-It was different this time.” I stuttered, sitting up and trying to stop the tears and even out my breath. “That moment on the Quidditch field- did you guys see it?” They all nodded in response. “I thought that was it. I was going to tell him. I really thought that he was into me too, you know?” My voice cracked and a fresh wave of tears came over me. I tried to articulate my thoughts, but I couldn’t finish a sentence. “I thought we- we were- but he's not, and now I'm all alone..." 

Mariana pulled me into a hug. “Judicorn, shhh... It's okay.” She soothed as tears streamed down my face. I buried my head into her shoulder.

“Come on, family hug.” Jesus said. I soon was cocooned in an Adams-Foster sibling hug, which made me choke out a watery laugh. It was nice to know that I was loved, even if the person I was in love with didn’t love me back. A rush of affection surged through me as my family all squeezed me in their embrace.

Jesus was the first to speak up. “Hey, one day you're going to find a great guy, okay? Screw Connor.” He said, and all the rest of my siblings laughed.

“I love you guys.” I said, and I knew everything was going to be okay.


	7. Reparations

The morning after the Quidditch match and the victory party, I ran into Connor on my way to breakfast. He waved at me, and I gave him a small wave back. Every instinct in me was screaming to run the other direction to prevent myself from getting hurt again, yet I still gave him a small smile as he approached me.

“Hey, what's up? I missed you at the party yesterday!” He said, acting like nothing had happened the previous day. Which, I guess, to him… nothing really did happen.

“Where's Chelsea?” I asked, miffed, getting straight to the point. I expected her to be hanging around Connor, but she was nowhere in sight.

He shrugged. “Eh, she was a good kisser, but she's too clingy. I broke it off.” He said, starting to walk down the hallway, joining me in my walk to breakfast.

My heart soared and I mentally scolded myself. “Okay.” I answered, my tone wavering against my will. I was conflicted; I was ecstatic that Connor wasn’t dating Chelsea, but at the same time, still ticked that he even hooked up with her at all. And what was the deal with that hug? That hug couldn’t have meant _nothing._

I need answers.

Connor looked at me weirdly, noticing the catch in my tone. “Wha-“

“How do you do that?” I blurted.

“Do what?” He asked confusedly.

“Just make out with someone and not feel anything?” I clarified, avoiding eye contact.

He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “Jude, you can do lots of things and not feel anything. Kiss, hold hands, _hug_...” He said, trailing off, watching my face for my reaction.

Of course. He was talking about the hug. It didn’t mean anything. _It didn’t mean anything._ Why was I even surprised at this point? Why do I get my hopes up just to have them crushed into a million pieces?

I nodded and looked down. “Right. Got it.” I said meekly, taking a step away from him. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by another voice.

“Hey Jude.” Someone behind me said. I turned around to see Jesus standing there, crossing his arms. He looked pissed, and was glaring at Connor. He must have heard the last part of our conversation.

“Hi.” I answered.

Connor was oblivious to the bad vibes Jesus was giving off. He smiled at my brother and raised a hand in greeting. “Hey Jesus-“

He was cut off by Jesus. “Hey Connor! I have a great idea. Why don't you get as far away from Jude as possible?” He spat, grabbing my wrist and dragging me in the opposite direction of my best friend.

“Excuse me?” Connor asked, affronted, watching him drag me off.

“Jesus!” I exclaimed, trying to get him to release his grip. After a few seconds of struggling, I gave up and let Jesus drag me away. “Bye Connor!” I shouted from the other end of the hallway, getting farther and farther away.

“Bye...” I faintly heard him say. I snuck one last glance at his confused expression before Jesus dragged me around the corner and I lost sight of him.

As soon as we rounded another deserted corner, I pushed Jesus away. “What the hell was that?” I asked, rubbing my wrist where he had grabbed it. Dang, he was stronger than I expected.

He sighed. “Look Jude-“

“I know you're just looking out for me, but it's not Connors fault that I'm in love with him, okay?”

I covered my mouth. That was the first time I had ever had the courage to admit it out loud. To be honest, it felt kind of good. Like a weight had just been lifted off my chest. Jesus was rendered speechless, and a heavy pause followed my declaration.

“You- you're in love with him?” He finally asked, surprise evident in his tone. Jesus had known that I liked Connor, but he didn’t know it was to this extent.

“Y-yeah. I am.” I stuttered, slumping against a wall.

“I'm sorry. That sucks.” He said, and for once, I agreed with him. “But Connors still kind of a jerk.”

I chuckled, nodding my head. “Yeah. But he's my best friend.” I said weakly as Jesus put a hand on my shoulder, looking at me sympathetically.

* * *

 

It had taken a week to thaw the remaining awkwardness between me and Connor. By Saturday, everything had gone back to normal. Well, almost normal. I had kept my space from Connor, not letting him get too close to me or act like anything marginally more than friends in fear that my hopes would soar again. We didn’t really hug anymore. Or brush hands anymore. Or sit shoulder to shoulder in potions anymore.

I was serious this time. We were just friends. _Only_ friends. I can’t keep doing this to myself. It’s not fair to him or to me.

I was broken out of my thoughts by Connor calling my name. “Come on, Jude!” He shouted, running down the corridor ahead of me. I looked at my watch and saw that the next group for Hogsmede left in five minutes. Crap. We would have to make it down three flights of moving stairs before time ran out.

You see, it was time for a Hogsmede visit. Our secret candy stash (which we hid behind a painting of a unicorn in a field of flowers in the charms wing) was dwindling. I ran to catch up with him, trying not to trip over my own two feet

“Slow down Connor!” I shouted, trying not to lose my balance.

Just as we were about to make it down the last turn, we ran past Callie and Brandon. Callie was the first to reprimand us. “Hey, Jude! Connor! Careful! No running in the hallways!”

Brandon soon joined in. “Set a good example! Don't abuse the badge!”

We ignored them and made the final turn, making it just in time. The teacher collected our signed slips and sent us on our way, giving permission for us to head down the rocky path to Hogsmede.

“Hey, is it just me, or have Brandon and Callie been spending a lot of time together?” I asked Connor as we stepped out of the castle, shoving my hat down further on my head, the crisp fall air nipping at my ears.

He thought about it for a second. “Well, you guys are in the process of getting adopted, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Maybe they're just trying to get to know each other better.” He said, crunching brown and orange leaves under his feet as he walked. “Also, they’re head boy and head girl. They kind of have to spend a lot of time together.”

I thought about it. “Yeah, you're probably right.” I relented. We continued chatting until we reached the small village.

Connor’s eyes lit up as he spotted the colorful exterior of the Honeydukes, which was pretty much one of the best candy stores of the wizarding world. “Come on Jude! Candy!” He shouted, grabbing my hand and dragging me over to the store.

I tried to calm my heart as he wrapped his fingers around mine. _It doesn’t mean anything_ , I repeated in my head over and over again. _It doesn’t mean anything._

“Hey look, chocolate frogs!” I said, taking my hand out of his grip and rushing towards the chocolate section of the store, Connor following behind me, ready to blow all of his allowance on candy. 

* * *

 

An hour later, we walked out of the candy store, carrying two huge bags of candy. “Okay Connor. Now that you've got enough candy to last you a decade, can we go into Weasleys Wizard Wheezeys?” I asked, pointing towards the joke shop across the street.

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah sure! Then, afterwards, do you want to head to three broomsticks? I'm starving.” He said, rubbing his stomach. I faintly heard it grumble.

“Sure! Let's move quickly then so we can make it back to the castle before it gets too dark.” I said as we walked briskly towards the flashy joke shop.

As soon as we got inside, we decided to split up. That way, we could cut our shopping time in half. Connor headed towards the isle full of joke sweets and I went headed towards the muggle tricks isle. As awesome as magic was, I still had a soft spot for muggle objects. However, walking towards the back, something else caught my eye.

It was a cage, filled with different colored little puffballs. I crouched down to get a better look. An employee noticed me looking and came over. “What's this?” I asked the clerk, reaching through the wire cage and feeling the silky, puffy fur of the small animal.

“This is a Pygmy puff.” He said. He unlocked the top of the cage and took out a small dark blue one. It was only a little bigger than my fist, but just about the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

“It's so cute!” I cooed as he handed it to me.

“Do you want to buy it?” He asked, closing the cage back up. “They’re really low maintenance. Plus, It's only two galleons!”

I thought about it for a second before making my decision. “I'll take it.” I said, setting it on my shoulder and handing the worker two galleons. He nodded at me and gave me a small back of supplies for taking care of it; that included a brush for it’s fur, a years supply of food, and bathing instructions.

I headed to the front of the store where I met up with Connor, who was carrying a bag full of his purchases. “Oh hey- what is that thing?” He asked, looking at the fluffy thing on my shoulder questioningly.

“It's a pigmy puff! Isn't it adorable?” I said, taking the thing off of my shoulder and allowing him to hold it.

He looked at it closely for a moment. “It's so girly.” He said, scrunching his nose.

I scowled at him and took my pigmy puff out of its hands. “Well I like it. And you shouldn't gender things, that's stupid.” I declared, sticking my tongue out at him and putting the small, blue puffball back on my shoulder.

He looked at me apologetically. “You're right. Sorry. What's it's name?” He asked, petting the small animal.

“Indigo.” I said.

He smiled softly. “Cute. Hey, look, he matches your nails.” He said, gesturing to my hand.

I held up my dark blue nails to my pigmy puff. It was a perfect match. “Oh yeah! I didn’t even notice.” I said, once again running a hand through the fur of my new pet. “Anyways… what did you get?” I asked Connor.

“I got a couple of trick candies that I'm going to try and sneak to Blake. If we're lucky, he might pass them in to Jeremy and they'll both end up in the hospital wing.” He said, smirking.

I chuckled. “You, Connor Stevens, are downright evil. You belong with me.” I paused for a second before I realized what I said. “In Slytherin, I mean.” I clarified, my cheeks tinged pink.

He chuckled at my embarrassment before suggesting, “Let's go to Three broomsticks. I’m starving.”

_Phew, that was a close call. Come on Jude! You have to be more careful than that. You were this close to spilling your secret!_

I agreed, and we opened the door, a cold gust of wind hitting us in the face. “Run! It's freezing!” I said redundantly, sprinting across Hogsmede, Connor laughing behind me.

As we stepped inside warmth rushed over us. I sighed, rubbing my hands together as Connor took off his hat and ran a hand through his unruly hair. Which was really cute.

_Shut up._

I glanced around the pub, biting my lip when I saw a flash of familiar dark brown hair. “Don't look now, but Maddie’s here.” I said, glancing at him and expecting him to be looking at Maddie. However, to my surprise, he was looking straight at me. I waved my hand in front of his face. “Uh, Connor?” I questioned.

“What? Sorry. Must have spaced out for a second.” He replied quickly. I pointed over toward Maddie. He looked at her and shrugged, indifferent.

We got some butterbeer from the counter, than sat down at a table. As we started to drink from the chipped mugs, Connor started chuckling. I looked at him questioningly. “I still can't forget the look on Jesus's face when we opened that closet.” He clarified, chuckling some more.

I started laughing too, thinking about my brother’s blanched expression when we caught him. “It was hilarious!” I agreed, taking a swig of my butterbeer.. “His eyes were bugging out of his head.” I remembered the scene once more and shuttered. “I could have gone my whole life without seeing him and Lexi get it on, though.” I added, wincing at the memory.

“He corrupted your innocent little brain.” Connor teased.

I shoved him and scoffed. “Shut up Connor! I'm not innocent.”

“Yes you are, Judicorn. You've never even kissed someone.” He said. I pouted. “Hey, look, don’t be so down.” He added quickly. “Just go up to a girl and ask her for a good snog.”

“I'm not like you, Connor.” I said quietly, petting Indigo, who was still perched on my shoulder, “I can't just go up to someone and kiss them. I want to feel something.”

He looked at me for a moment, almost tenderly, before shrugging and taking a sip of his butterbeer. “You're loss, Judicorn. I'm not the one with virgin lips.”

“Shut up.” I said weakly, taking a sip of my own butterbeer.

He pointed at my mouth. “You have a little foam right there...” He said. I tried to lick it off, but I must of have missed because Connor took his thumb and brushed it off of my bottom lip. I looked up at him, suddenly realizing that our faces were closer than I thought. My heart started to beat wildly. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

After a beat, Connor pulled away. “We should go.” He said, taking one last swig of his butterbeer.

“Yeah, definitely.” I agreed. Together, we plunged back outside into the cold evening air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo yay okay hoped you liked it see u next week with another instalment please leave me a comment or kudos if u like it k bye


	8. Christmas Happenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember that Indigo is Jude's pigmy puff. Got it? On with the story.

Before we knew it, it was Christmas time here at Hogwarts. Usually I go home for Christmas, but this year Stef and Lena were taking a vacation to Romania to see the dragons. Honestly, dragons don’t really interest me. They’re kind of terrifying.

So I decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas this year. All my other siblings were staying too, as well as Connor, who usually comes over to our house for the holiday season. He spends the least amount of time possible at his own house, which is understandable considering his dad is... well, he’s an interesting man to say in the least. 

* * *

 

My eyes fluttered open as sunlight streamed through the open curtains. I sat up and yawned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes before realizing what day it was:

_Christmas Day!_

I jumped out of bed excitedly, taking Indigo from out of his cage and placing him on my shoulder, giving him a nuzzle. I didn’t even bother changing out of my pajamas before running out of the common room and into the corridor, heading towards the Gryffindor dormitory to wake up Connor. The castle was basically deserted, seeing as most of the students went home for the holidays. Just as I thought I was alone, I turned a corner and-

_Smack!_

I ran into something hard and stumbled backwards. I looked up to see that it wasn’t a something, but a someone. And I made that someone drop all of their books. _Way to go, Jude._ I made sure Indigo was okay on my shoulder before dropping to my knees and helping pick up the books that were scattered on the floor.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I said, grabbing a few of the books.

"Y-Yeah." I heard a deep voice say. I looked up to see none other than the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, Colton Summers. 

“Are you sure?” I asked, a slight blush coming over my face. Of course I had to make a fool of myself in front of the really hot Quidditch captain. _Nice going, Jude_. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going.” I said, handing him a couple of his books and standing up.

“Yeah I'm okay. I wasn't watching where I was going either. Are you okay?” He asked, looking at me concernedly.

I gave a small smile “I think I'll live.”

“Sorry again, Jude-“

“You know my name?” I asked. I don’t think I had ever talked to him before. Plus, everyone knew who Colton Summers was. I didn’t think that he would know who I am.

“Well, yeah. You're Stef's son.”

I deflated a bit. “Oh. Right.” You think that I’d be used to getting noticed as a famous Auror’s kid by now. Well, it’s either I get noticed from that or one of my other siblings. Sometimes, it seemed like all of my other siblings were doing cooler things than me. Jesus was a Quidditch Captain, Mariana was just about the best Charms student that Hogwarts had ever seen and a prefect to boot, and Callie and Brandon were Head Boy and Girl. With a family like that, it’s easy to get lost in the background.

He cut me off of my train of thought. “I mean, that's not the only reason I know your name. You're a prefect, one of the smartest kids in our year, and really cute-“ He blushed and scratched his neck sheepishly giving me a shy smile.

My jaw dropped. _Colton thinks that I’m cute? Me? Is he drunk?_

“Uh… Thank you?” I said, but it came out as more of a question. I probably looked really stupid, with my face flushed and my jaw still slightly open.

“N-No problem."

“Bye Colton. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Jude.” 

* * *

I approached the Fat Lady that guarded the Gryffindor common room, huffing slightly from my short jog. What? Connor is the athletic one, not me.

“Password?” She asked, taking a look at my pajamas and raising an eyebrow. 

“Devils Snare” I said, flushing slightly.

She rolled her eyes, but let me in. I climbed into the common room, placing Indigo on top of a pile of presents under a tall Christmas tree and bolting up the staircase on the right and up into the boys dormitory.

“Connor!” I yelled, running up the stairs, “Wake up wake up wake up! It's Christmas!” I saw him sit up and rub his eyes sleepily before I launched myself onto his bed, laughing and flopping onto his lap.

He chuckled. “Jude? How did you figure out the password?” He asked, his voice still rough from sleep.

My lips quirked into a smile. “Did you really think I would give up?” The truth is, I had just gotten Mariana to figure it out for me… but he didn’t need to know that.

“Jude Adams-Foster giving up? Never.” He responded, running a hand through my bedhead and smoothing it down.

I rolled out of his lap and grinned. “Come on, you doofus. We have Christmas presents to open!” I said, and then ran down the stairs, Connor hot on my trail.

We sat down in front of the tree, taking a minute to look at all the Christmas presents we had gotten this year. Connor, who had an especially good relationship with the house elves, pulled a few strings and got them to put all of my presents in here so we didn’t have to carry them from one side of the school to the other.

I picked up Indigo from the tall pile of presents, petting his fluff and placing him on my shoulder. Connor inspected his pile and grabbed one of his presents. “Gee, I wonder what this one is...” He said, holding up the obviously broom shaped package.

“Is it new robes?” I asked sarcastically.

“Shut up.” He said, tearing the paper off quickly, revealing the latest model of the Moontrimmer, its sleek form leaving my best friend awestruck.

“Oh my god! Connor! It's that new broom you wanted! Who would have known?” I said in fake surprise, widening my eyes for comic effect.

He tore his gaze away from his new broom to glare at me. He put down his broom gently and walked over to me. “You're such a little-“

“Hey hey hey!” I interrupted, throwing out my arms to prevent him from coming any closer. “You can't touch me! I have a Pygmy on my shoulder!” I said, pointing at Indigo who I was pretty sure had fallen asleep. Although, I wasn’t really sure. Pygmy puffs didn’t really do much.

Connor calmly reached out and picked up Indigo from my shoulder, placing him on the couch and patting his tuft of blue fur before looking back over at me mischievously.

“I hate you.” I declared, before running for my life.

He chased me around the common room before catching up with me and wrestling me to the ground. _Curse those stupidly hot athletic genes._ I struggled against his hold for a moment or two before letting him pin me down.

I laughed, looking up at the boy above me and trying not to drool. _Calm down, Jude._

Connor opened his mouth like he wanted to say something before closing it and rolling off me. _Well that’s disappointing._

“I bet you twenty bucks that Lena knit you another scarf for Christmas.” Connor said, grabbing the first present off of his pile and tearing it open, revealing Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. He took one out of the box and popped it in his mouth, offering one to me. I grabbed it out of his hand.

“I'm not taking that bet. Are you crazy? She gives me one every year.” I said, eating the light green bean. 

I shuddered as the taste filled my mouth. _Eugh._ Who makes an asparagus flavored jellybean?

“Which horrendous color are you hoping for this year?” Connor asked me

“Hmm... maybe a mucky yellow. Or puke green to go with my house colors.” 

Connor wrinkled his nose. I tore open the wrapping of my first present, which was signed from Lena. I opened the box to reveal a bright pink scarf with a lopsided J stitched on it.

I held it up, grimacing. “Cute.” Connor said, doubling over with laughter. I chucked the florescent abomination at his head.

* * *

Connor and I lounged by the large, cozy Gryffindor fireplace, our opened presents scattered around us. We had managed to get some hot cocoa from the kitchens and at one point, Connor had tried to see how many marshmallows he could fit in his mouth.

Connor sighed, taking a sip out of his mug. “I'm so glad I didn't have to go home for Christmas.”

I snorted. “Yeah, the last time we went over to your house it was a disaster.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! The last time you came over for Christmas it was a blast.” 

“Oh yeah! I loved being blatantly ignored by your father! Good times.” I deadpanned.

“Okay, so that part wasn't fun. But that fort we built in the woods was pretty cool.”

That night we spent in the woods was a night that I would never forget. Connor and I had talked until the sun rose, exchanging dreams, hopes, and fears. We laughed together while watching the sunrise, our arms brushing side by side. It was the moment that I fell in love with him. And, the woods ended up being one of the scents in my amortentia.

“Yeah, that was pretty awesome.” I sighed contentedly, resting my head on his shoulder.

He rested his head on top of mine. “Merry Christmas, Jude.”

“Merry Christmas, Connor.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it. sorry kind of a filler but i wanted a christmas chapter. The real meat of the plot starts next chapter! What do you guys think is coming next?


	9. Everything in Nothing

I woke up to hear my dorm mates shuffling around, most likely putting back all their belongings back from winter break. I wasn’t really that close with any of my dorm mates, but I was friendly enough with most of them. Except for few, who stuck more with the traditional Slytherin views. I tried to avoid them the best that I could.

Blinking sleepily and rubbing my eyes, I looked out my window at the already dark sky, my Herbology books scattered around me. I must have fallen asleep while studying this afternoon. Whoops. I smoothed out my wrinkled clothes and looked at my watch, silently cursing myself. I had to do rounds with Connor in five minutes. I stretched and tried to smooth down my ruffled hair, before getting out of bed and grabbing a chocolate frog, stuffing it in my pocket.

I walked down the stairs, going through the common room and climbing out of the portrait hole ungracefully. Connor was already there waiting for me, leaning against a wall. “Jude! You ready for rounds?” He greeted, clapping me on the shoulder.

I nodded. “Yep! Let's go.” I said brightly. I always looked forwards to rounds with Connor.

We started walking, looking for any first and second years that might be out after curfew. “So, how's the adoption process going?” Connor asked, his eyes sweeping the corridor.

“Really well. I'm so happy they decided to adopt us.” I said, trying to contain my excitement. “I can't wait to officially be an Adams-Foster!”

Finally, after a couple years in the muggle foster system (which were not fun, trust me) and five years of living with Stef and Lena, I was going to be part of their family. Permanently.

He chuckled. “I'm happy for you, Jude.”

I looked over at him, trying to decipher my best friend’s emotions. “What about you, Connor? How's everything at home?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual but unable to keep the worry out.

“Dads fine.” He said, waving his hand dismissively. “He's a little grumpy in his letters, but you know, he's always like that, so…” Connor shrugged. I patted his shoulder sympathetically.

After about a half an hour of us scouring the corridors and making small talk, we completed our patrol route. “Well, that's it for rounds.” I said.

“You wanna go to the ledge for a bit?” Connor asked, smiling at me, making my heart flutter. _Ugh, why does his smile have to be so cute?_

‘The ledge’ was a cushioned windowsill under a staircase in the Divination tower that Connor and I had found in our first year. It was secluded, allowing us to have a place to talk and chill whenever we wanted, away from the hustle and bustle of our common rooms. 

I grinned. “Yeah, let's go.”

________________________________________

“What's it like to kiss someone?” I asked Connor casually, biting the head off of a chocolate frog and looking out the large window that was next to us, my gaze sweeping over the vast grounds of Hogwarts.

Connor was taken aback slightly. “What?”

“What's it like?” I repeated, looking down at my chocolate frog card. _Dang it, I got Harry Potter again. I have, like, fifty of those._

He shrugged. “Well, it's just two lips, touching... It's nice, I guess.” He took the half-eaten chocolate frog out of my hand and took a bite.

“Is it true?” I blurted suddenly.

“Is what true?” He asked confusedly.

I clarified. “They say that when you kiss someone, your heart jumps into your throat and you feel butterflies and fireworks go off-” I said, waving my hands.

“That hasn't happened to me yet.” Connor interrupted. I quirked an eyebrow. He’s had to have kissed at least twenty girls. He didn’t feel anything with any of them? A part of me was ecstatic. Another part of me was mad at myself for feeling that way.

“I want that.” I said, imagining what it would be like to kiss someone… to kiss Connor. I shivered at the thought and shook my head. “Is that weird? I want to kiss someone and get to experience that.”

“I think everyone does.” Connor said. I looked over at him and saw him staring at me. I blushed and looked down. _Could he see right through me?_

“Jude…” He said quietly, scooting closer to me.

“Yeah?” I asked, my heart beating out of my chest.

“I-I'm really lucky to know you.” He said, running a hand through his hair. “Seriously, I don't know what I would do without you.” He looked into my eyes and smiled slightly. I thought about all of the good times we had shared, from the first time we met, to Connor’s first Quidditch game, to every Christmas and birthday and late night study session that had led to this moment.

I leaned over and hugged him, sliding into his lap. I buried my face into his shoulder, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Connor didn’t really show me sentiment often, but when he did, it really hit me hard. I felt his arms wrap around me, returning the hug.

And in this moment, with Connor, I wanted it to last forever.

I pulled away from Connor’s shoulder, smiling shyly, looking down. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I looked up, gazing into his eyes.

Then, he leaned forward and kissed me.

He _kissed_ me.

 _HE KISSED ME_.

I froze for a second, my eyes widening, my mind going haywire, before melting into the kiss, my eyes fluttering shut. Sparks shot up and down my body, my heart beating wildly in my chest. His lips were soft against mine, and I felt like every vein in my body was being shot with electricity. 

He pulled away quickly and I opened my eyes, blinking slowly. Connor had just… he had just…

I think I’m going into shock.

I reached up a hand to touch my lips. The kiss was only a few seconds long, but It was enough to leave me breathless. Connor’s eyes were wide, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just done. After a few moments of silence, I whispered his name. “Connor-“

“I-I have to go-“ He stammered, taking off down the hallway, leaving me alone to my thoughts. But there was only one thing running through my head.

_Holy shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sorry for the short chapter but! They kissed! What do you think is gonna happen next?


	10. Kiss and Don't Tell

I couldn’t get over what had happened. The kiss kept playing over and over in my mind, and all I could think about the next day was the sparks that had run through my body when his lips touched mine. My heart fluttered just thinking about it. Did this mean that Connor… liked me? As more than a friend? Well, he probably did, considering he kissed me.

_But then why did he freak out afterwards?_

I decided that I would just talk to him about it. Plus, if he did like me, then maybe we could be… more. My heart lept at the possibility.

Later in the day, I spotted him in the corridor in front of the fat lady’s portrait, his back turned towards me. A grin spread over my face. “Hey Connor.” I said, walking up to him and greeting him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He flinched away from the touch as if I had burned him. My heart stuttered in my chest, and not in a good way. “Oh, uh, hey Jude.” He said, turning to facing me, but not looking me in the eye.

I frowned but shook it off. “Want to study with me today before dinner?”

He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. “I can't.” He said, turning away. My breath caught in my throat.

What? We always studied together. Had the kiss really ruined everything for us? He was the one that kissed me. _I don’t understand._

“Oh, uh, okay.” I said lamely, backing off. _Maybe he just needs space._ I bit my lip.

“I’ve got to go.” He said hurriedly, dashing into the Gryffindor common room before I could say another word. I watched his retreating figure, bitterness seeping into my chest.

I felt tears welling in my eyes as my heart started to hurt. _This might just be the end of us._

* * *

 

I walked into Potions with my head down, not watching where I was going, running into someone as I strode through the door. I looked up to see that I was face to face with Connor. _Great._ I bit my lip, about to brush past him, when he started talking. “Hey, I was looking for you.” He said, smiling.

“You were?” I questioned, shocked. _Were we… okay?_

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you if we could switch potions partners.”

The statement caught me off guard. Connor and I were _always_ partners.

“What?” I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice.

“Daria asked to be my partner.” He shrugged, pointing to a pretty girl with curly hair who was sitting in my usual seat, her Gryffindor tie tied neatly around her neck. A pang went through my chest. “You can go be with Taylor.” He pointed over to a small, mousy looking girl who I recognized from around the Slytherin common room. She waved sheepishly at me.

“Okay, sure.” I said angrily, turning away to go sit by Taylor.

He put a hand on my shoulder. “Jude?” His voice was full of emotion, sounding almost… vulnerable.

I turned around. “Yeah?”

He paused for a moment. “The ingredients.” He blurted, holding out his hand.

My face fell. “Oh. Right. Here.” I pulled out some of the ingredients we had harvested in Herbology and put them in his hands, refusing to look him in the eye.

He took them and walked to Daria, calling back at me. “Taylor has yours.”

I trudged over to the seat next to Taylor, sitting down and groaning. “Sucks being sexiled” She said, giving me a crooked smile.

“What?”

“When your friend leaves you hanging for their new boo.” She clarified, taking our ingredients out of her bag.

“Oh. That. Yeah, it kind of sucks.” I said, shrugging, trying to play it off like I wasn’t too upset. “I'm Jude, by the way.” I said.

“I know. I’m Taylor.”

I nodded and smiled slightly, “I know.” I grabbed one of the ingredients, starting to chop it up like the directions said to. “When did they become boos?” I asked casually, trying to keep the curiosity out of my voice.

“Some time during transfiguration last period. But if you ask Daria, they're totally OTP.” She said dryly. I laughed, deciding that I liked her. I don’t know why I hadn’t talked to her sooner. “You ready to tackle this monster of a potion?” She asked, laying out all of the ingredients.

“Yeah.” I answered, rolling up my sleeves and getting to work.

An hour and two failed attempts later, we finally had an acceptable potion. We turned in the navy blue potion, a sleeping draught, to the professor and then quickly cleaned up our workstation.

I bumped into Connor on the way out. Daria and Taylor chatted a few feet behind us. “Hey” I said feebly, trying not to be awkward.

“Hey, don't wait up for me, I'm going to walk Daria to her next class.” He said, already grabbing Daria’s hand and walking away from me.

“Okay.” I said quietly, even though I was pretty sure that Connor was out of earshot. Another month, another girl. Why did I think, even for a second, that I could break that cycle? I'm such an _idiot._  

I stood there for a few moments, watching their retreating figures before Taylor walked up to me. “Hey Jude, wanna walk with me?”

“Sure.” I answered immediately. She linked her arm through mine and we walked through the hallways, but I couldn’t keep my mind off of a certain athletic Gryffindor who was avoiding me.

* * *

 

Later that night, I found myself hanging out with Taylor again. She wasn’t Connor, but we got along pretty well. We went down to the library to study, but easily got distracted, swapping stories and making small talk.

“You really smelled laundry detergent in your amortentia?” I asked, laughing at one of her more embarrassing stories.

She nodded and threw her hands in the air defensively. “I did, I swear!”

I shrugged teasingly. “Well at least you're knight in shining armor will smell lemony fresh.”

She gave me a crooked smile. “Meanwhile, you're significant other will smell like pancakes and the woods.” She said, chuckling.

I thought of Connor, and immediately my smile faded. Taylor looked at me questioningly, so I flashed her a small, fake smile. “Great.”

Someone tapped my shoulder. “Hey Jude, ready for patrol?” Connor. _Speak of the devil._

“Yeah.” I said, standing up and grabbing my stuff. I turned back around. “See you around, Taylor.” I said, giving a small wave goodbye.

“Bye Jude!” 

* * *

 

Patrolling with Connor, for the first time ever, was absolutely awful. Any attempts I tried to make at conversation were met with one-word answers. Connor wouldn’t even look at me. The whole entire route, I couldn't stop thinking about what I did to make him avoid me. I mean, technically, I should be mad at him. He's the one that kissed me. But... I wasn't mad. Just... disappointed and sad.

As soon as we reached the end of our route, Connor mumbled “See you.” and tried to book it out of there. Anger temporarily swelled up inside of me. He can't run away from this anymore.  

I grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. “Wait, Connor, we need to talk.” I said, ignoring the sparks that came from his touch.

“No we don't.” He said coldly. He tugged his wrist out of my grip. “There's nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is!” I yelled, my frustration reaching a boiling point.

“No, there isn't. Bye Jude.” He finalized, and stalked away from me.

“Connor!” I yelled after him, but he ignored me and turned the corner.

So this is it. _The beginning of the end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand Connor's a dick. Sorry, it had to get worse before it's going to get better :)
> 
> I love reading about what you guys think is going to happen next. So, what are your predictions? Will connor apologize or continue acting like a giant dick?


	11. Ticking Timebomb

“So Connor and Daria have just officially announced that they're dating.”

I looked up groggily at Taylor, who had slid into the empty space next to me at the Slytherin table. I rubbed my eyes, yawning, and looked over to the Gryffindor table, where Connor and Daria were being overly affectionate. I quickly looked away, the sight sending a pang through my chest. 

“Great.” I mumbled flatly. That was not the type of thing I wanted to see first thing on a Thursday morning. I tried to fix my hair, because it looked like I had just rolled out of bed. Which, I had. Usually I was a morning person, but lately I had been unable to sleep because of… reasons. Tall, blonde, athletic reasons.

“I know.” Taylor rattled on, looking at them and scrunching her nose in disgust. “It's kind of awkward being around them. This morning I walked in on them making out and let me tell you it was not pretty.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty gross.” I agreed, trying not to think about it too much. My eyes diverted their attention to the door of the Great Hall, where I saw Callie and Brandon. Callie was leaning close to him, speaking in hushed tones, and resting her hand on his shoulder. He was nodding and looking her in the eyes. The way he looked at her reminded me of something that happened a long time ago… and it sent a pang of fear through my heart.

“Hey, I'll meet you at our table in Potions, okay?” I said to Taylor, taking one last bite of my toast and standing up from my spot at the table. “I have to talk to Callie first.”

“Okay. I'll save a spot for you.” She agreed, nodding her head at me. 

I walked over to Callie and Brandon at the door of the Great Hall, who seemed like they were still having a serious discussion.

“Hey Callie. Brandon.” I said, putting a hand on Callie’s shoulder and nodding to Brandon, trying not to act coldly and probably failing.

“Hey Jude-“

“Can we talk?” I interrupted Brandon, looking at Callie. “Alone?”

“Sure.” She said, as I dragged her around the corner and out of Brandon’s earshot. “Is everything okay?” She asked concernedly. “Is this about Con-“

“What's going on with you and Brandon?” I questioned, getting straight to the point.

She looked at me confusedly. “What do you mean?”

“You remember that... That foster kids can't be in a relationship, right?” I asked slowly.

She took a sharp breath. Hey eyes widened, and from her expression alone I could tell that she was guilty of exactly what I was implying. She tried to defend herself. “Jude-“

I cut her off angrily. “Callie, this is going to be like Liam all over again!”

Hurt washed over her face and she flinched as the memory of our old foster brother. The one who was supposed to be apart of a loving home. The one who used to sneak me chocolate after dinner. The one who violated Callie and left her with mental scars that will probably be there for the rest of her life. 

Watching her face fall, I immediately wanted to take back everything that I said. “Callie I'm so sorry, that was over the line-“

She put on a fake smile and hugged me tightly. “Jude, baby, it's okay. Nothing is going on. I promise.” She said, stroking my hair like she used to when we were younger.

“Okay.” I believed her. “I just... I really want to get adopted, Callie.” I said in a small voice.

“I know, baby I know.” She reassured, giving me one last squeeze, then letting go. “Come on, let's go eat.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me back into the Great Hall. I tried to forget that the whole conversation even happened.

* * *

 

“It's disgusting.” Taylor declared, wrinkling her nose at the sight of Connor and Daria making out in front of us. I was trying to look anywhere but at them, choosing instead to look down at my hands. It’s not like I had never seen Connor kiss a girl. I had, and plenty of times. But now that I knew what it was like to kiss him…

I shivered. 

Finally, Taylor got fed up and decided to split them up. “Hey! You two!” She yelled. Connor and Daria split apart, Daria grinning and Connor with this blank look on his face. “Want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?” Taylor asked.

“Yeah sure, sounds fun!” Daria said, lacing her fingers through Connors. “Are you in Jude?” She looked at me expectantly.

I looked over at Connor, who still had the blank look on his face. _Crap, Jude, think of something quick…_ “I don't know, I have a lot of studying to do...” I responded hesitantly.

“Come on Jude, it will be fun.” Taylor begged, pouting her lip.

“Okay, sure.” I said hesitantly. Taylor and Daria chattered on excitedly, already making plans, while I snuck a glance over at Connor. I could not place the expression on his face, not knowing if he was still mad at me. Even though he had no right to be mad at me. It was his own freaking fault in the first place.

The girls left after a little while, claiming that they had to go to the bathroom before class started. Connor and I sat awkwardly together. My heart panged. _Connor and I were never this uncomfortable around each other._

“Look,” I started shakily, resorting to looking back down at my hands to avoid his gaze, “if you don't want me to go I can just tell them that I have a lot of homework-“

He cut me off quickly. “No, it's fine. You should go. We'll all have fun.”

I looked up hesitantly to see him giving me a small smile. It worried me that I couldn’t tell if it was fake or not. “O-okay.” I answered hesitantly, already dreading the weekend.

And, of course, the more I dreaded the weekend, the faster it came.

* * *

 

Before I knew it, it was Saturday morning and I was standing outside of Hogwarts in the brisk morning air. Next to me stood Taylor, who was shoving a large, knit beanie onto her head, and Connor and Daria, who were holding hands. _Awesome._

“Let's go to Hogsmeade, it's freezing out here.” Taylor said, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to keep warm. I nodded in agreement and wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck. 

“Okay, yeah let's go.” Connor said. We all walked quickly through the cold air and into the small town, which was swarming with other Hogwarts students.

We decided to head to the Three Broomsticks to warm up. We ordered 4 butterbeers and slid into the booth, Connor and I on one side, and the girls on the other. After a few minutes of shuffling to get our coats and hats off, we settled into the cozy warm atmosphere of the pub.

“So…” Daria said, trying to start a conversation, “did you guys hear about the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, Colton?”

“What about him?” I asked.

Daria’s face lit up like she was about to spill the juiciest piece of gossip. “He just came out as gay!” She said dramatically, as if it were the biggest news in the world.

“Okay, and…?” Taylor asked flatly, inspecting the contents of her butterbeer. Connor didn’t react at all, really. He just stared into space blankly, tapping his fingers on the table.

She was disappointed at our lack of reaction. “Well I mean, I was shocked! He doesn't _look_ like he’s gay. I mean, look at him. He's like six feet tall and gorgeous! And those muscles.” She said, pouting.

“Why does it matter what he looks like?” I blurted before I could stop myself. She looked at me like I had three heads. “You shouldn't judge people's sexuality on outward appearance.” I clarified, blushing slightly.

“Jude's right.” Taylor agreed. 

Daria rolled her eyes. “Whatever Taylor. Anyway, all the girls are disappointed-“

Connor interrupted her hurriedly. “Hey look, butterbeers here.” He said, as the waitress walked over with our drinks and handed each of us a butterbeer. I took a large gulp, trying to cover up how awkward I felt.

“So anyway, what did you think of bright lights, Taylor?” Daria asked, initiating a conversation with her best friend while Connor and I drank from the glass bottles.

“I thought it was really good.” Taylor said excitedly.

“I know! The romance part was just so cute.”

The girls chattered on while Connor and I sat in awkward silence. I didn’t try to start a conversation, because I was still pretty peeved at him. _How could he just do that? Kiss me, and than not talk about it? Did he think it was a joke or something? Do I-_

I felt something nudge my pinkie. I glanced down to see Connor’s hand, resting next to mine on the booth under the table. His hand brushed against mine. I sucked in a breath. _It was just an accident Jude, don’t overthink this-_

But then I felt it again, this time Connor deliberately slid his pinkie against mine. My breath caught in my throat. I glanced over at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was just looking straight ahead. His pinkie intertwined with mine, making my heart pound in my chest.

I looked over at Taylor and Daria, who were still caught up in conversation, and seemed to be clueless as to what was going on under the table. I bit my lip and squeezed slightly. He squeezed back. I struggled to keep calm, my mind racing a mile a minute.

“You agree with me, right Connor?”

Daria startled us, her voice jolting us back to reality, our hands hastily splitting apart. We tried to play nonchalant. “Uh, what?” Connor asked blankly, casually taking a sip of his butterbeer.

“Don't you wish there was a way to get muggle movies at Hogwarts?” Daria clarified, looking at Taylor and rolling her eyes good-naturedly, as if to say _boys never pay attention_.

“Uh, yeah. Definitely.” He said, avoiding eye contact.

I looked at Taylor, who was eyeing me suspiciously. “We should probably get going. It's a long walk back to the castle.” I said suddenly, finishing off my butterbeer and standing up, throwing a few sickles on the table.

“Yeah, let's go.” Taylor agreed, following suit. Connor and Daria finished off their drinks as well, and all four of us walked out back into the brisk weather. I buried my face into my scarf to keep my nose from freezing.

We were about to start the journey back to the castle when Daria turned around. “Wait! Connor! Come with me to Zonkos. Please?” She asked, looking at him and pouting, giving him puppy dog eyes. Connor looked like he was about to object, but then sighed in defeat and nodded. She squealed happily and linked her arm through his, already dragging him in the opposite direction.

“We'll meet you back at the castle!” He called over his shoulder. I watched her drag him away and sighed. I turned around quickly, about to start walking back to the castle with Taylor, but I ran into something tall and solid with an _oomph_.

“Oh, sorry.” I heard a familiar voice say.

“My bad-“ I looked up. “Colton.” A grin spread over my face. “Hi.”

He chuckled and fixed my scarf that had gone askew when we ran into each other, his warm hands brushing my neck. “We have to stop meeting like this, Jude.” He said, humor in his voice, his cheeks a light pink color.

I laughed. “Shut up.” I said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

“See you around. And try not to run into anyone else.” He said, patting my shoulder and walking past me with a wink. I shook my head, still chuckling, and walked over to Taylor. Unwilling to stay out in the cold any longer, we both did a combination of speed walking and jogging back to the castle, racing each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you like? I hope so! Colton made a guest appearance and i fit in the pinkie scene. mission accomplished. Please review. Honestly, they remind me to update. thanks <3333


	12. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty brief but hey guess what it sets up a lot of plot points and the next chapter will be super long so look forward to that

A couple of days after the whole Hogsmede incident, I was more confused than ever. Connor was still dating Daria, yet acting like everything was pretty much normal between us. Actually, not normal. He's still a bit distant, yet it seems like he finds any excuse to brush up next to me, or put a hand on my shoulder, or sit closer to me than usual.

Even Taylor noticed that things had been tense between us. When she asked me about it, I tried to play it down like less of a deal than it actually was.

“I don’t know. Things between me and Connor have been a little weird lately.” I said, shrugging and taking a bite of my chocolate frog, trying to come off as nonchalant. 

She nodded sympathetically and put a hand on my shoulder. All of the sudden, realization flashed across her face. She looked at me, her eyes wide, and muttered, “ I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner.” She stood up and started pacing the hallway, running her fingers through her hair. "The looks, the Blake thing, it all makes so much sense now. How did I not see it before?"

“What?” I asked, confused, as she continued pacing, flailing her arms wildly.

“I'm such an idiot!”

I stood up and grabbed her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. “Taylor! What are you talking about?”

“You have a crush on Connor.” She said breathlessly.

_Shit._

I froze, my mouth opening and closing, unable to confirm or deny it. _How did she know? Was it that obvious? Would she tell anyone?_ Questions were running through my mind a mile a minute, while I broke into a nervous sweat.

It took me a good couple of seconds to break out of my shock and say anything. I just didn’t know what to say. “Taylor-” I started, but she interrupted me.

“Am I right?”

I could deny it. Even though I haven’t been friends with Taylor for a long time, I already feel like I can trust her. Plus, it’s not like she would tell anyone. So, I told her the truth.

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered, my cheeks turning red. I buried my face in my hands as she whooped victoriously. _Could this get any more embarrassing?_

“I knew it!” She yelled cheerfully, a manic grin on her face, pumping her fist in the air. She laughed to herself, as if she couldn’t believe she figured it out. But, I mean, c’mon. It doesn’t exactly take a Sherlock Holmes to figure out that I was in love with Connor.

Fear panged through my heart again at the thought of Connor finding out I was in love with him. “Taylor, you cannot tell him. No one can know!” I stressed.

She waved me off. “Relax, Jude, I won't tell him.” She sat down on the black couch, gesturing for me to sit next to her. I sat down hesitantly. She waited a moment before asking cautiously, “When did you start liking him?”

“Middle of third year.” I revealed, looking down at my hands.

She whistled in appreciation. “Wow.”

“Yeah. I know.”

She approached the next subject with caution. “Is it hard? Seeing him and Daria together?” She clarified.

“Yeah.” I said, sighing. She gave me a sympathetic look. I shrugged, trying to downplay my own heartbreak. “But Connors happy, and that's all that matters.” And it was true. As long as Connor is happy with Daria, I will just sit on the sidelines and watch. I will choose his happiness over mine every time. 

She patted me jovially on the back, trying to lift my spirits. “Come on, its lunch time, and the best way to get over someone is by binging on food. Or, at least, that's what I've heard.” She said cheerfully, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the Slytherin Common room. Maybe this was the start of recovery. Maybe telling someone was just the something I needed to start getting Connor out of my system. 

* * *

Once I started telling Taylor all of the things that I had gone through during my crush on Connor, I couldn’t stop. It was like my mouth had a mind of its own. Although, I admit, it was really nice to finally have someone to confide in about all the things I had been suppressing for so long.

“So when they asked you what the third smell in your amortentia was, it was Connor’s cologne?” She asked, trying to stifle her laughter.

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. “Yeah, it was so embarrassing. I'm pretty sure I turned bright red in the middle of the class.”

“You're turning bright red right now!” She pointed out. I felt my face turning hot, and she laughed ever harder, placing a hand on my arm. I groaned as she enjoyed my pain. I opened my mouth, about to retaliate, but someone cleared their throat in back of me, stopping me mid-word.

“Jude can I talk to you?”

I turned around to see Connor, standing there with his arms folded, Daria nowhere in sight. I quirked an eyebrow and nodded, surprised. Connor and I had not had a lot of truly alone time recently. We always were in sight of other people, wither it was around Taylor and Daria or in the middle of the library. We had never been secluded, especially not after… _the kiss that shall not be named._

“Sure! See you later, Taylor.” I said, waving, my face still slightly red. She winked at me as I left with Connor, once again making my face flush red. I was slightly confused by Connor’s actions, but I was also hopeful. Maybe this was a sign that things were getting back to normal.

As soon as we rounded the corner and got out of earshot from anyone else who could possibly be out and about at this time, I stopped walking and broke the silence, wanting to know why he was talking to me after being a bit weird all week. “What's up?” I asked, hoping he would give me an excuse for all of the crazy shit he's been pulling recently. The kiss, the hand holding... I would like an answer for one of those things. But, as usual, what came out of his mouth was not what I was expecting.

“Are you and Taylor dating?” He questioned accusedly, crossing his arms.

I was taken aback at first, but then I laughed. “What? No!” I said, chuckling to myself at the thought.

“Are you sure?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.

His tone set me on edge. I scoffed, getting a little irritated. “What kind of question is that? Of course I'm sure I'm not dating Taylor.” I said.

“Do you like her?”

I sighed tiredly. _Why did he even care?_ “No, Connor. I don't.” _Trust me, I really don’t._

“Are you sure?” He clarified. “Cause you two spend a lot of time together.” 

I rolled my eyes, anger flaring up inside me. “Of course I’m sure, you dolt! And we’ve only spend so much time together because you and Daria leave us together all the time! I mean, not only that reason. Taylor's really cool. She listens to me, she actually cares what I say-”

“So you do like her!” He exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger and poking me in the chest,

I huffed in exasperation, hitting his hand away and running a hand through my hair in frustration, almost at my breaking point. “Are you even listening to anything I'm saying Connor?”

“Yeah, you like her!” He accused.

“Connor I'm _GAY_!”

Silence.

_Oh shit._

 

 _  
_ “What?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ey hope you enjoyed it remember to comment because it reminds me that this story exists and therefore reminds me to update. Seriously i have to live through the lack of jonnor in this season somehow. thanks for reading guys!


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